Stragrownell is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless bear.

Stragrownell created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Stragrownell, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stragrownell, she will make you grow a tail.

Stragrownell's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Stragrownell's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Stragrownell in the centre of the settlement.

2. Put Stragrownell first in all things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Stragrownell loves ducks, so they must be honoured.