Wonyikont is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, impressive shrew.

Wonyikont created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Wonyikont, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wonyikont, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wonyikont's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Wonyikont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Wonyikont in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.