Wigtimtar is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, benevolent goose.

Wigtimtar created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigtimtar, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wigtimtar, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wigtimtar's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Wigtimtar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wigtimtar.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Never talk about optics near rats while wearing violet scarves and balancing seven lead spheres on your chest.