Bomruttvidquat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, witty wombat.

Bomruttvidquat created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomruttvidquat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bomruttvidquat, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bomruttvidquat's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bomruttvidquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Feed all hungry gulls.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not hurt whales.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.