Nabtimlid is a god.

It takes the form of a large, narcissistic cow.

Nabtimlid created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabtimlid, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nabtimlid, it will turn you into a mole.

Nabtimlid's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Nabtimlid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nabtimlid.

5. You must love Nabtimlid.