Baptimfob is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful slug.

Baptimfob created the Whirlpool Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baptimfob, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Baptimfob, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Baptimfob's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Baptimfob's Holy Commandments

1. Baptimfob loves foxes, so they must be respected.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about gravity near grasshopers while wearing purple shirts and balancing four platinum spheres on your feet.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.