Wanstanrat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful snail.

Wanstanrat created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanstanrat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wanstanrat, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wanstanrat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wanstanrat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. You must love Wanstanrat.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Wanstanrat in the centre of the settlement.