Bugcunwotbanpitsogtigfod is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, staggering jellyfish.

Bugcunwotbanpitsogtigfod created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Bugcunwotbanpitsogtigfod, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bugcunwotbanpitsogtigfod, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bugcunwotbanpitsogtigfod's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bugcunwotbanpitsogtigfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing red shoes and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.