Fonliptof Spagzodhab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, ill-tempered gorilla.

Fonliptof Spagzodhab created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonliptof Spagzodhab, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fonliptof Spagzodhab, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fonliptof Spagzodhab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fonliptof Spagzodhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Never feed bread to doves while wearing hats.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not shave your feet.