Vagtapmut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional capybara.

Vagtapmut created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagtapmut, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vagtapmut, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vagtapmut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Vagtapmut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Vagtapmut must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.