Taghugtaf Xucpangcat Vabspagfed is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful otter.

Taghugtaf Xucpangcat Vabspagfed created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taghugtaf Xucpangcat Vabspagfed, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Taghugtaf Xucpangcat Vabspagfed, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Taghugtaf Xucpangcat Vabspagfed's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Taghugtaf Xucpangcat Vabspagfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to ants while wearing dresses.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Taghugtaf Xucpangcat Vabspagfed loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about shrews.