Bessugnegguphomsasflat is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable cobra.

Bessugnegguphomsasflat created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Bessugnegguphomsasflat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessugnegguphomsasflat, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bessugnegguphomsasflat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bessugnegguphomsasflat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near squirrels while wearing black dresses and balancing eight gold spheres on your chest.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.