Lunxuckpang is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, almighty armadillo.

Lunxuckpang created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunxuckpang, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lunxuckpang, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lunxuckpang's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Lunxuckpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Hide if three dogs approach from the east.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Lunxuckpang loves squirrels, so they must be respected.