Femgupspaggiltapbad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate gerbil.

Femgupspaggiltapbad created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Femgupspaggiltapbad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Femgupspaggiltapbad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Femgupspaggiltapbad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Femgupspaggiltapbad's Holy Commandments

1. Femgupspaggiltapbad loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about comets.