Niglatrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witless walrus.

Niglatrutt created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Niglatrutt, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Niglatrutt, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Niglatrutt's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Niglatrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always help gulls in need.