Jamminxuc Poghomhun is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, generous dragon.

Jamminxuc Poghomhun created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamminxuc Poghomhun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jamminxuc Poghomhun, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Jamminxuc Poghomhun's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jamminxuc Poghomhun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.