Gubnart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unselfish dugong.

Gubnart created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubnart, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gubnart, he will make you grow a tail.

Gubnart's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gubnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about dark matter near dogs while wearing cyan kilts.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

4. Hide from gray shrews for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.