Gil is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless centipede.

Gil created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gil, he will turn you into a slug.

Gil's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gil's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near otters.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Sharks are not to be trusted.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Learn four new languages a year.