Genkikfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, compassionate whale.

Genkikfoss created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genkikfoss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Genkikfoss, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Genkikfoss' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Genkikfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Genkikfoss.

2. Do not eat corn.

3. Run away if five geese approach from the east.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.