Yimbamtif is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, slow dugong.

Yimbamtif created the Tadpole Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yimbamtif, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yimbamtif, she will turn you into a hamster.

Yimbamtif's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Yimbamtif's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always help geese.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near rats while wearing red shorts and balancing six zinc spheres on your feet.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.