Stipdossjoprotqueegtapdapzen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic skunk.

Stipdossjoprotqueegtapdapzen created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Stipdossjoprotqueegtapdapzen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stipdossjoprotqueegtapdapzen, he will turn you into a mouse.

Stipdossjoprotqueegtapdapzen's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Stipdossjoprotqueegtapdapzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near sharks while wearing blue hats and balancing three platinum spheres on your hands.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Hide if five manatees approach from the east.

4. You must love Stipdossjoprotqueegtapdapzen.

5. Always help doves in need.