Bonkzogyat is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, temperamental manatee.

Bonkzogyat created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkzogyat, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bonkzogyat, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bonkzogyat's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bonkzogyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Hide if nine manatees approach from the north.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.