Hatnarltam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome crow.

Hatnarltam created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hatnarltam, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hatnarltam, it will turn you into a worm.

Hatnarltam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hatnarltam's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look after injured shrews.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hatnarltam.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not kill seals.