Hadmaplip is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional zebra.

Hadmaplip created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadmaplip, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hadmaplip, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hadmaplip's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hadmaplip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the south.

5. Worship no other gods but Hadmaplip.