Tonzodcub is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous newt.

Tonzodcub created the Milkyway four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonzodcub, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tonzodcub, he will laugh at you.

Tonzodcub's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tonzodcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill moths.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat tomatoes.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.