Fubzental is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, sage chinchilla.

Fubzental created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubzental, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fubzental, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fubzental's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fubzental's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never sit near voles.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.