Sagcarhaphin is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, cheerful troll.

Sagcarhaphin created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Sagcarhaphin, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sagcarhaphin, she will turn you into a goat.

Sagcarhaphin's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Sagcarhaphin's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Never think about spacetime near dolphins while wearing gray stockings and balancing nine iron spheres on your arms.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.