Femfarnjat is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, omnipotent elephant.

Femfarnjat created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Femfarnjat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Femfarnjat, he will jump up and down on your head.

Femfarnjat's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Femfarnjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Femfarnjat on top of important buildings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must pray to Femfarnjat six times a day.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

5. Never think about planets.