Kinvedgov is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, slow raccoon.

Kinvedgov created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Kinvedgov, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kinvedgov, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Kinvedgov's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kinvedgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Run away from magenta monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not eat figs.