Arfquillgabfot is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional weasel.

Arfquillgabfot created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Arfquillgabfot, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Arfquillgabfot, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Arfquillgabfot's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Arfquillgabfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arfquillgabfot.

3. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Arfquillgabfot in the centre of the settlement.

4. Hide from indigo badgers for they are unholy.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.