Budtalquill is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, irritating lobster.

Budtalquill created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Budtalquill, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Budtalquill, he will turn you into a duck.

Budtalquill's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Budtalquill's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight sheep approach from the west.

2. Never think ill of sick snakes.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never wear white tights.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.