Fumgumflab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, almighty fish.

Fumgumflab created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumgumflab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fumgumflab, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Fumgumflab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Fumgumflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to badgers while wearing rings.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Do not commit murder.