Pigyarhivqueeg Habgepbid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful fairy.

Pigyarhivqueeg Habgepbid created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pigyarhivqueeg Habgepbid, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pigyarhivqueeg Habgepbid, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pigyarhivqueeg Habgepbid's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Pigyarhivqueeg Habgepbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three dolphins in a large pit.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Never talk about grasshopers.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.