Nurtsugmap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, awesome dugong.

Nurtsugmap created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsugmap, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurtsugmap, it will turn you into a mole.

Nurtsugmap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nurtsugmap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Nurtsugmap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurtsugmap.

3. You must pray to Nurtsugmap four times a day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.