Dotbimbugdon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humorless clam.

Dotbimbugdon created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dotbimbugdon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dotbimbugdon, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dotbimbugdon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Dotbimbugdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of rats.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Always treat cats with great respect.