Vabbedgiljon is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unfair swallow.

Vabbedgiljon created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabbedgiljon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vabbedgiljon, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vabbedgiljon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Vabbedgiljon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick otters.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Pray towards the north.