Hengodtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, idiotic shrew.

Hengodtonk created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hengodtonk, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hengodtonk, she will not invite you to parties.

Hengodtonk's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Hengodtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Run away if seven eagles approach from the east.

3. Never feed parsnips to grasshopers while wearing hats.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.