Yattgadfumgonpark is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever lizard.

Yattgadfumgonpark created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattgadfumgonpark, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yattgadfumgonpark, he will turn you into a duck.

Yattgadfumgonpark's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Yattgadfumgonpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never paint your chest blue.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Yattgadfumgonpark in the centre of the settlement.

5. Run away from white mites, for they are unholy.