Candamshav is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, capable goat.

Candamshav created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Candamshav, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Candamshav, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Candamshav's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Candamshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.