Quatbenrill Witnurtsog is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless walrus.

Quatbenrill Witnurtsog created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatbenrill Witnurtsog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quatbenrill Witnurtsog, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Quatbenrill Witnurtsog's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Quatbenrill Witnurtsog's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Do not hurt mice.