Bestmabyarp Nuttitkem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, awesome finch.

Bestmabyarp Nuttitkem created the Virgo Supercluster seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestmabyarp Nuttitkem, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bestmabyarp Nuttitkem, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bestmabyarp Nuttitkem's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bestmabyarp Nuttitkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never go into green rooms.