Pognurtsad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate jaguar.

Pognurtsad created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Pognurtsad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pognurtsad, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Pognurtsad's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Pognurtsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ducks with great respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never mention doves.

4. Do not take Pognurtsad's name in vain.

5. Never talk about planets.