Quamrotgil is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, uncaring jaguar.

Quamrotgil created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamrotgil, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quamrotgil, it will try to impress you with trees.

Quamrotgil's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Quamrotgil's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine manatees approach from the south.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never eat garlic.