Vindumgep Kappadveen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking giraffe.

Vindumgep Kappadveen created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vindumgep Kappadveen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vindumgep Kappadveen, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Vindumgep Kappadveen's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Vindumgep Kappadveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.