Vonkfitflag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless fox.

Vonkfitflag created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfitflag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vonkfitflag, he will try to impress you with trees.

Vonkfitflag's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Vonkfitflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve tights.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always look after injured shrews.