Bellmadfit Basttonkkan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, able cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bellmadfit Basttonkkan created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellmadfit Basttonkkan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bellmadfit Basttonkkan, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bellmadfit Basttonkkan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bellmadfit Basttonkkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about gravity near mites while wearing pink shoes and balancing five iron spheres on your arms.

4. Bellmadfit Basttonkkan loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.