Dossqueegster Stiknadbog is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy snail.

Dossqueegster Stiknadbog created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossqueegster Stiknadbog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dossqueegster Stiknadbog, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dossqueegster Stiknadbog's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Dossqueegster Stiknadbog's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. You must pray to Dossqueegster Stiknadbog three times a day.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.