Tapfasyarlfabjopmadingtail is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omnipotent faun.

Tapfasyarlfabjopmadingtail created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapfasyarlfabjopmadingtail, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tapfasyarlfabjopmadingtail, he will not care.

Tapfasyarlfabjopmadingtail's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tapfasyarlfabjopmadingtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from mauve doves, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Learn six new languages a year.