Futbegsog is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, deceitful chinchilla.

Futbegsog created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futbegsog, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Futbegsog, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Futbegsog's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Futbegsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near nematodes while wearing cyan trousers and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Never write about black holes.