Bonktarpvolcarfud is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, intelligent beaver.

Bonktarpvolcarfud created the Virgo Supercluster six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonktarpvolcarfud, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonktarpvolcarfud, it will turn you into a dog.

Bonktarpvolcarfud's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bonktarpvolcarfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.